


Dragons be at Rest Here

by Celticas



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crack, Gen, IKEA, Kid Fic, Marvel Scramble 2020, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:35:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24386800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Celticas/pseuds/Celticas
Summary: Tony wasn't sure how he ended up at Ikea on a random Saturday afternoon. Or well, he was. He knew the sequence of events that had brought him here, but he wasn't sure how it had ended up here.And a weird day was just about to get weirded.
Relationships: Tony Stark & Thor
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14
Collections: Marvel Fandom Scramble 2020





	Dragons be at Rest Here

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you [ Panda 365 ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Panda365/pseuds/Panda365) for Beta'ing this fic, and to the wonderful [ Mags](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mags/pseuds/Mags) for moderating this event!

He poked at a precarious stack of ‘Ullkaktus’, what? Sending the first two layers wabbling and then puffing to the ground. Tony glanced around to make sure no one had seen him do it, and once confirmed no one had, he hurried after the rest of the group. How had it come to this? Apparently, in the post alien invasion high he had offered the rest of the team somewhere to live. In theory that was fine. But it had snowballed… 

At first it was great, Pepper had brought in decorators to work with each of them to design their own spaces. That was fine by him, less work deciding what to put on every floor of his tower. 

And then Barton.

Tony wasn’t even sure when the archer had turned up. Five minutes after Shwarma, the blonde had disappeared into the settling dust of New York and three months later turned up with a single, ratty duffle of barely patched clothes, a hard case with three bows and a range of trick arrows Tony couldn’t wait to get his hands on, and a one-eyed dog that slobbered over everything. Okay, so maybe he knew down to the very second when each of them had darkened his doorstep but whatever. 

Numbers, they were sort of his jam.

Some how that had turned into a mass outing to Ikea… He remembered Birdbrain politely declining the decorators from Pepper, and then the assassin harrassing each of the others for a few days and BOOM here they were. Spangles had appeared in his lab that morning thrown a clean pair of jeans and a sweater at him and hustled him out of His Own Building.

“How goes it friend Stark?” Shakespeare’s bigger brother boomed from behind him, making him jump and send another stack of unpronounceable Swedish soft furnishings avalanching to the ground.

“Fine.” He quickly takes a single step sideways to try and block Thor from seeing the mess he had made. It’s a fruitless effort, Thor and Capsicle standing right next to each other wouldn’t hide the fallen cushions and it wasn’t like the Asgardian didn’t see Tony’s mess every day.

A quiet sniffle stopped Thor from asking anything further. The sniffle was followed by a hiccup and a low sob.

“Do you hear that?” Thor glanced around. Hair glinting golden in the fluorescent light… What? Why was he…. Whatever.

“It came from over there.” A pile of throws shivered as something, someone shifted behind it.

Splitting up, Thor went clockwise and he went south. A small person was crouched low to the floor, dirt smudged hands rubbing at a tear-reddened face.

“Greetings little one. Are you well?” Thor settled down onto his haunches, trying and failing to make himself smaller, less threatening.

Sniff.

“Are you injured?” Sitting cross-legged on the floor, the alien prince settled in to wait.

“No.” The voice was thin and unsure.

“Are you lost?” Thor rumbled more than asked, the sound of a far off thunderstorm that inspires snuggling up with a blanket and mug of tea.

“M...maybe?” The voice hitched, and dark brown eyes swimming in tears look up at the thunder-god.

“Then we shall assist you in becoming found.” Climbing to his feet, he offered a large hand to pull the little boy to his feet.

Dressed in tiny jeans, a tee-shirt with a cartoon boat on the front, and scuffed high-tops in a purple Hawkeye would be proud of, he was futzing adorable. Tony was happy to swear but there seemed something twisted with swearing when considering a child.

“You’re Thor. And Ironman!” Little eyes widened comically in awe.

“That’s right. And who are you?” Tony finally joined the conversation, feeling left out.

He scrubbed a hand against his jeans and held it out in a mockery of an adult’s greeting. “Tommy.”

“Good to meet you Tommy.” Tony accepted the handshake with the gravitas he would use to meet a world leader or the Dalai Lama if he was anyone other than himself.

“And who are we searching for?” Thor asked.

“M...my mom.” Tommy sniffled at the reminder that meeting two of the Avengers wasn’t just a fun afternoon coincidence, but a result of something bigger and badder.

“And what is the mother of this fine warrior garbed in? How should we identify her?” Thor took a knee, a knight before his king, but still overshadowed the little boy. It was a ridiculous posture in the middle of the harsh lights of Ikea, but Thor pulled it off. It was almost swoon worthy.

“Um… pants, and a sweater.” He told them unhelpfully.

“What colour sweater?” Tony crouched down, it seemed to sort of be working for Thor.

“Umm. Blue. Or maybe green.”

Or not.

“And what sort of pants? Jeans like you? Or slacks like me?” He twitched the fabric that was pulled taut over his knee.

“Like me?”

It was phrased more like a question than Tony would like, but he would take what he could get.

“Was her sweater the same colour as her pants?”

“No.” The confidence there was more reassuring.

“So, green sweater, probably, and jeans. Is she blonde like Thor or brown like me? Or something else?” He pointed at each of them as he talked, really under-lined what he was asking.

“Yellow.” Tommy pointed at the long golden strands of Thor’s locks…. A-hem, Tommy pointed at Thor.

“And so our quest can begin.” Thor pronounced. Sweeping the little boy onto his shoulders, he stood and surveyed the pod of the store they were in. No blonde women in green sweaters and jeans were visible. “Hark, Tiny warrior. Most knowledgeable of our goal and with best vantage, you shall be our eyes.”

“Hu?”

Tony chuckled at the look of pure, innocent confusion on Tommy’s face.

“Tell us if you spot your mom. You know what she looks like and are the tallest right now.” Tony translated.

“Oh. Okay.” He agreed easily once he understood what Thor was asking him to do. Tony was just glad he wasn’t crying anymore.

“Advance noble warriors on this quest most just, but beware the dangers of the land of Ikea!” Thor boomed drawing a few looks from other shoppers, but Tommy giggled as he started to understand the over-blown manner that Thor spoke in.

It was a long time, if ever, since Tony played make-believe. He had vague memories of the OG Jarvis crawling around on the floor with him and a veritable fleet of cars racing through made up cities until his father had come in and yelled at him about some long forgotten infringement. He wasn’t going to ruin a memory of meeting Thor by not getting into the spirit of things.

“Shouldn’t we have a scout?”

Just cause he wasn’t going to ruin it didn’t mean he was going to make an idiot of himself trying to emulate Thor’s Shakespearean bullshit, the man could talk as normal as any of them, he just put it on for the public.

“Verily!”

“I’ll signal when it’s clear.” Tony bent his knees slightly and crept forward, on the look out for a danger that wasn’t there. 

Using the pallets of products and even a few other shoppers who exclaimed with varying levels of amusement and annoyance, he reached the wall between the pod they were in and the next.

“Clear.” Tony called back and then waited for them to reach him.

Thor with Tommy firmly grasped around the ankles lent out to check the forward terrain. Tony knew that at the angle Thor was leaning at, there was zero chance he could see anything past the boring white wall, but Tommy would be able to survey everything in the next room.

“Do you wish to advance?” Thor whispered.

“Yes?”

“Scout?” 

“On it.” Tony crept around the wall, he could feel the hulking presence of Thor and Tommy shadowing him.

“Look there, Sir Thomas, a herd of wild elephants.” Thor pointed at a stack of fabric boxes with cartoon African animals printed on it. “Such majestic creatures!”

In Tony’s opinion, that was taking things a bit far, but Tommy spoke before he could say anything.

“Awsome! Do you think we will see any Lions? Or Bears?” Tommy bounced in his seat forcing Thor to clutch his ankles tighter.

“You are best placed to sight them. What can you see?”

Tommy gasped. “A Dragon!”

Following his tiny finger, Tony could see a comforter twisted into a long rope on the floor. If he really stretched his imagination he could almost see a dragon, or at least a snake. 

“Jörmungandr is a mighty opponent. We must be careful not to wake him.” Thor whispered, kneeling to get them out of ‘Jörmungandr’s sightline. “Advance.”

Awkwardly, they duck-walked the long way around a pallet of pillows, or maybe they were rounding a great mound of rocks or stalagmites? A small smile inched its way onto Tony’s face, it felt good to make-believe. Distracted he knocked into the legs of another shopper, sending him stumbling and Tony to the ground with a thump.

“Sorry.” Tony said as Tommy called out. “HE’S AWAKE!”

“To battle brethren!” Thor carefully lowered Tommy to the ground and armed them both with plastic-covered pillows. Tony grabbed one from himself and followed them into the fray, encased goose feather’s flying.

Thor bellowed a deep war cry and swung his pillow. Hard. White puffed everywhere, feathers exploding across a quarter of the pod they were in. Children's laughter and yells of delight filled the air along with the down.

“We are close to vanquishing the beast! A final push shall bring us victory!” Thor scooped up another pillow in one hand and Tommy in the other. 

“TO VICTORY!” Tony called diving in after them.

“TOMMY?!” A scared woman’s voice yelled across the room, loud enough to be heard over the two Avengers and a wildly laughing child.

“Tony? Thor?” Capsicle could also be heard, his voice not quite reaching the level of thunder that Thor could.

“MOMMY!” Tommy squired out of Thor’s hold and ran towards the woman, feathers sticking out of his clothes and tangled in his hair. Wide arms caught him up and pulled the little boy into a purple sweater.

That boy needed to learn his colours. Tony grinned at the sight, happy to see a caring parent even if it twinged a part of himself that he mostly tried to pretend wasn’t there.

“PILLOW FIGHT!”

Before anyone could stop him, a violently purple archer had grabbed his own two pillows and swung them out. For once his legendary aim worked against him. The rest of the Avengers were a second too late of the mark to stop him soundly thumping Tommy’s mom.

Well shit.


End file.
